Hey, everyone!
Sorry it's been a while! I've been busy just adjusting to life at home, seeing all my friends as much as possible, and being at home with my family. :) Also, I've been wanting to write a post about an overview of the entire semester, but wasn't sure how to go about it.
For my university, Northern Arizona University, the Honors Program requires that I write an essay upon my return in order to receive credit from them. I thought it would be best to use this opportunity to organize my thoughts about the semester as a whole, since it's been a bit of a difficulty...
At first I felt overwhelmed at the thought of writing this essay. I'm not sure if it was because the topic was so broad, or if it was the fact that I hadn't written anywhere close to a six-page essay since before I left. Or perhaps it was the fact that I had to sit down and analyze my own experiences...and myself.
Now, three weeks after my return, I have finally forced myself to sit down and finish this essay. Here's the result! Let me know what you think. ;)
Lots of love,
KatiAs I settle back into my life in the United States, I have done much contemplation of the previous five months I spent abroad in Asia. Since my return, I have felt a sense of disconnect from my experience, as if it happened a long time ago, or as if it did not actually happen at all. However, glancing through my online journal entries and picture albums, I am reminded that my memories are genuine, and my handcrafted souvenirs provide tangible evidence of an unforgettable experience.
Despite these feelings of detachment, however, the undeniable truth is that I have changed in many ways as a result of my time abroad. Not only have my previous perceptions of the Chinese culture and people changed, but my perceptions of the world as a whole are completely different from what they were before my departure. Apart from these changes, I have also changed as an individual as well. When comparing the person who I was prior to my departure to the person I am now, there is a major difference in how I handle various situations, what my future goals are, and how I see my role as an individual in the world. Overall, many changes took place over the course of this past semester, some of which were desired and intended, others of which were unexpected.
The first, and probably most obvious, changes I underwent were my perceptions of the Chinese people and culture. Of course, I had an idea of what Macau would be like before I left, but throughout the semester I learned that some ideas I had were true, but more often than not, they were false. One major perception I had was that there would be more of a Portuguese presence in Macau than there actually was (Macau was a Portuguese colony for approximately 400 years until the handover to China in 1999). However, the Macanese population is an overwhelming majority of Chinese, with 94.3% of Cantonese or Hakka descent (“Macau”). The remaining 5.7% of the population consists of some Portuguese, but mostly this statistic consists of mixed Portuguese-Chinese, as well as a significant Filipino population (“Macau”).
While I was able to use my basic knowledge of Spanish to read the Portuguese street and shop signs, communicating with the locals in Portuguese and Spanish proved a complete waste of time. While Portuguese is considered one of the official languages of Macau, it is not actually spoken very often except in government administration buildings. I also thought there would be more English speakers, since I had understood that almost half of the Macanese population speaks it. However, I found that these English speakers were concentrated in the local tourist areas, like casinos and hotels, and again in government administration buildings. I also found that just because they claim to speak English does not necessarily mean that they speak it fluently, which certainly proved to be an obstacle throughout my stay in Macau.
All in all, my perceptions of Macau as a culture were proved wrong. I departed for Macau under the impression that there would be more of a Portuguese and European influence in daily life; however, after observing the overwhelming influence of Chinese traditions on Macanese culture upon my first weeks in Macau, I realized that I would be facing more obstacles than I originally believed.
Prior to my departure, I had a number of hesitations and anxieties concerning the obstacles I predicted I would face while abroad. Fortunately, many of my anxieties I had prior to proved inconsequential. Originally, one of my greatest fears about my experience was the international flight from the United States to Asia by myself. However, I arrived safely at each of my many stopovers along the way. Once I overcame that obstacle, I felt more confident in myself to face other obstacles and solve other problems throughout my journey.
Other anxieties, such as my fear of getting lost in a strange place, or not understanding the school system at the Institute for Tourism Studies (IFT), or not getting along with a foreign roommate, also proved insignificant. Macau turned out to be extremely small – 29.2 square kilometers, to be exact – and I was able to navigate my way around my part of town within the first month of living there (“Macau”). Besides, I was comforted by the fact that if I ever did find myself lost, I could always find a taxi to take me to a familiar location. In regards to the school system at IFT, I was pleasantly surprised by how westernized it was. Even when I was unsure of myself, I had plenty of friendly students willing to help me, and I often used them as a resource to answer my questions. As for my roommate, a Portuguese girl named Margarida, she and I found ourselves becoming good friends very quickly.
While these anxieties did not go on to become obstacles as I thought they would, I did face a few other expected problems. Some of these ended up being much more of a difficulty than I thought in the first place. For example, the language barrier proved to be much more of a hindrance than I originally believed. As I explained before, I thought my basic knowledge of Spanish would help me communicate with others who spoke Portuguese. However, I was disappointed to find out that Portuguese is not a very widely-spoken language in Macau, despite the fact that it is one of their official languages. I had more luck communicating with others in English, although that proved to be a daily struggle as well.
Another anxiety that I had that ended up becoming a big obstacle was the local cuisine; in fact, the first month of living in Macau was a daily struggle to find something to eat and satisfy my incessant hunger. I expected a more authentic version of the Mandarin Chinese food one finds in the United States; however, I came to learn that the Macanese cuisine is a unique style of Cantonese, not Mandarin, with a little Portuguese influence. As I came to discover, I could barely recognize the food in Macau, much less deem it edible. I tried a variety of strange local delicacies, such as turtle jelly, eel noodles, and even pig intestine. While I am proud of my willingness to try new foods, I was severely disappointed and lived off a diet of McDonald’s and rice during my first month in Macau. Eventually, I found more familiar, imported foods in the supermarkets, and I also found restaurants that served food more agreeable to my tastes.
In general, I faced small obstacles everyday, which is a natural part of immersing oneself in a new, unfamiliar culture. On a daily basis I had to figure out metric conversions, bargaining, being stared at, and even things as simple as how to use an Asian toilet! However, these daily struggles only made me a stronger person in the end, which was one of my primary goals of my entire study abroad experience.
Of course I chose to study abroad simply for the experience; however, I did not want to come back empty-handed. I specifically desired to be affected by this experience and allowed myself to be changed by it. Prior to my departure I made a list of personal goals I wanted to achieve over the course of the semester. Some goals were realized, others were not, and some came about unexpectedly.
My top priority for this experience was to become a more independent and confident person, and I certainly feel that I achieved that. By placing myself out of my comfort zone, alone in an unfamiliar environment, I forced myself to be resourceful in overcoming the obstacles and solving the problems I mentioned before. When I succeeded, I began to understand more and feel more comfortable with myself.
One goal that was not realized, unfortunately, was my desire to learn some Chinese. At the beginning of the semester, during my exchange student orientation, the IFT Student Union hosted a Cantonese language workshop. While I picked up on a few simple phrases, I did not learn nearly as much as I expected to, considering a five-month immersion in the language. I also enrolled in a Mandarin class through my school; however, I was disappointed to have only learned three words in the first month of the class.
On the other hand, another major goal that I feel I accomplished was to become a better communicator. Although I was unable to learn a new language, my months abroad gradually helped me to become a better communicator with those who did not speak my language fluently. Almost all of the people I met abroad spoke English as a second, or in some cases third or fourth, language. They did not always pick up on my fast speech or my frequent use of slang, so I had to adjust my way of thinking and speaking in order to convey what I wanted to say. In cases where there was a complete language barrier with the locals, I learned a few ways to communicate my wants and needs without words. These skills I gained are perhaps even more useful than I realized at first, and in the end the result is that I can speak more clearly and more eloquently than before.
Indeed I accomplished things that I could not predict I would prior to my departure. One was to “relax” more. While I grew up incessantly stressed out about schoolwork, extracurricular activities, etc., my semester abroad taught me that there are more important things to focus on as well. The lesson I learned was to find the balance and prioritize; school is extremely important, especially to me, but there is more to life than just academics.
Another thing I did not expect to achieve was a fresh world perspective. Although one would imagine that this is the most obvious result of a study abroad experience, I was naïve and barely considered this aspect. Before leaving I thought that I was already an open-minded person to new cultures and new ideas, when in reality I was not. How could I be truly aware of the world when I had barely been outside of my own home country?
Unfortunately, my new world view is not completely positive. A significant part of living and traveling throughout third-world countries is certainly one’s exposure to poverty and sickness. While many would argue that this is not uniquely characteristic to third-world countries, and that America also knows poverty and sickness, I firmly believe that it is to a degree that we will, hopefully, never know in the United States.
Despite my new awareness, I have no regrets about my experience, and I would not trade it for anything. To counteract this newfound pessimistic view, I have gained an even more positive outlook on my own life. Rather than dwell on the world’s evils and feel powerless and cynical, I have decided to live my own life with a vigor and optimism that I have never experienced before. I now realize how extremely blessed I am, especially compared to most others in the world. While I still do not know what I did to deserve such magnificent blessings and opportunities, I will strive to become worthy through living my life to the fullest. I now have a renewed passion for traveling and experiencing other cultures, to learning a second language, and simply being more open and adventurous in my daily life. My greatest lesson was to strive to become the best person I can be and to reach my maximum potential in everything I do. There are many more opportunities out there awaiting me, and it is up to me to find these opportunities and take full advantage of them. If I reject these opportunities, I will miss the chance to grow and learn, and ultimately, reach my full potential. This new understanding of myself and of my life is perhaps the most significant change I underwent during my time in Asia, but it is also one of the most important lessons I, or anyone else, could possibly learn.
