A Breakdown in Senado Square

Hello, all!

This week, for some reason, has been a very frustrating and stressful week. I’m not really too sure why, since school has been a piece of cake for me. Perhaps it was the little things that popped up throughout the week that got me so worked up. When I got back on Monday morning from vacation, I hadn’t checked my e-mail or Facebook in over a week. Coming back to it was crazy!

This week I’ve had to deal with getting my schedule arranged for NAU next semester, since early enrollment is coming up soon. I also had to arrange a new place to live, so I had to get all that paperwork squared away. Along with that, things popping up regarding my personal life back home just started wearing on me. I think all of it combined just made to stress me out.

It’s strange, because I’ve gotten really good at stress management since I started college. But I think this semester being in an environment where everything is so new and different makes the situation a bit different. When you’re constantly learning and readjusting to things, anything remotely stressful becomes a big deal. It’s hard to handle on top of everything else.

Today ended up being a not-so-good end to the week. I got an e-mail from the IFT telling me that my packages had arrived at the registry. I thought it was strange, since they were supposed to be sent to the Pousada (the educational hotel on campus).

Today (Friday) began as a very nice day. I got out of bed around 9:30 after a very nice night’s sleep. It’s been so freezing in our apartment all week, and last night was the first night where it warmed up. I spent some time on my computer, got my apartment application all squared away, and even got in an hour of flute practice after my shower. I spent my sweet old time getting ready and cute for my only class of the day, at 3:00.

After class I went down to the Registry to pick up my packages. Instead, they handed me two slips of paper, one for each package, and told me I had to go pick them up at the post office. I left school and got a taxi to take me down to the post office, which was at Senado Square. I got out, crossed the street, and went in the main door to the post office and stood in line to collect my packages. When it was my turned to be helped, I handed my slips of paper to the employee. He took out a map and pointed to where I actually needed to be, which was around the corner. I walked out rather annoyed and went to the other side of the building, but had trouble finding the place I actually needed to be. That’s when the frustration began building.

But I finally found where I needed to go and walked it. Again I handed over my slips of paper, and he asked for my ID. I asked if my American driver’s license would work (I’ve used it as a valid form of ID here in Asia before), but he said no. He asked for a passport, so I gave him the photocopy I keep in my purse. I only carry my actual passport when I’m traveling or going somewhere when I know I’ll need it. I carry a photocopy at all times so I don’t lose my passport or have it stolen. He didn’t like that either.

I started shoving my IDs back in my wallet, extremely frustrated, and told him I would come back another time then. I think he heard from the sound of my voice that I was on the verge of tears (yes, I’m embarrassed to admit), so he looked again at my package paperwork. He asked if I had an ID for the IFT, which I did. He said he’d accept it this time, but to bring my passport next time.

With my purse, book bag, and two packages I left and went to hail a taxi on the street. Senado Square is a central hub of Macau, so I figured it would be easy to hail a cab. I went across the street where I saw people getting taxis and found a sign to stand in line for a cab. Perfect!

But apparently there’s a system to getting a cab at this drop-off/pick-up place, which I still don’t understand. People would be dropped off, and then the taxis would drive away before letting me get in. Hello, what’s that all about? And I was clearly waiting, but people didn’t care and got in before me. The first person to do that I gave the evil-eye, but then more and more people started taking MY taxis! I walked a little further down the street to get in front of them, but then a local person pointed to the sign and told me (in Cantonese) to stand over there. Thanks, but I was already doing in the first place. And then another local woman tried to help me get a taxi, but they kept driving away.

And that’s when the tears started coming. I was holding two very bulky packages and trying to balance my bag on top of them. I was trying to get a taxi to go home, but couldn’t figure out how. It was really, really embarrassing. Here I am, standing like an idiot white person on a super-busy sidewalk in Senado Square, crying. On top of that, I saw my reflection in a window and my hair, which I spent so long making pretty this morning, was all frizzy and looked like crap (yeah, that's a little vain, I know).

Finally, I lept into a taxi that was dropping of a pair of girls before he could drive away, and he took me home. I had a Kleenex in my hand blowing my nose and wiping away tears the entire way, telling myself that it was okay and I was going home. But even when I got back to my apartment I kept crying for God knows why. And then I opened my packages and cried some more when I saw all the yummy food my mom sent me (candy, twelve boxes of mac n’ cheese, fruit snacks, and strawberry-dipping chocolate; basically, all my favorite foods).

I’m still not really why today was so emotional. Maybe it was those feelings of being lost, not being able to ask for help, and not understanding the ways of the culture. All of these were my fears coming into this, and they were all realized today. And I also was all alone, and when you’re the only white person in sight it makes you only more aware of how different and isolated you really are.

But I finally settled down and I’m much better now. I had a great Kraft mac n’ cheese dinner (on top of a binge eating of all the M&M’s and Twizzlers in my packages). :)

Here’s hoping to a better week next week,
Kati